Onion: The Supreme Court Reverses “Right vs. Wrong”

Here.

An excerpt:

WASHINGTON—Striking down the judicial precedent that established the legal supremacy of right over wrong more than two centuries ago, the U.S. Supreme Court on Wednesday overturned Right v. Wrong.

The landmark reversal—a bitterly contested 5-4 decision that has been widely praised by murderers, rapists, bigots, usurers, and pro-wrong advocates nationwide—nullifies all previously lawful forms of right and makes it very difficult for Americans to make ethical decisions or be generally decent human beings without facing criminal charges.

“It is the opinion of this court that the Constitution was crafted in such a manner as to uphold and encourage practices that are not right and, ideally, are very wrong,” Justice Antonin Scalia wrote for the majority, which also in­cluded Justices Clarence Thomas, Samuel Alito, Anthony Kennedy, and John Roberts. “Despite the compelling case for goodness, truth, and justice made by our predecessors in the case of Right v. Wrong, we firmly believe that malice, dishonesty, and injustice were the framers’ original intent.”

One thought on “Onion: The Supreme Court Reverses “Right vs. Wrong”

  1. Lynn B. Jacobs January 19, 2012 / 10:34 am

    I read the article and went searching for the original Right vs Wrong Decision and here is all I could find. 1790
    On February 2, the Supreme Court holds its first public session in the Royal Exchange, at the foot of Broad Street in New York City. No cases are docketed for argument during the Court’s first three terms, and — besides the onerous travel commitments associated with circuit riding — the justices have very little to do in the first years.

    If someone else found the original decision please let me know where. I would like very much to read it.

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