From the Onion via How Appealing:

WASHINGTON—Recently appointed justice Sonia Sotomayor told reporters that, despite making dozens of excuses, she was selected for jury duty this week, causing her to miss a landmark Supreme Court case addressing campaign finance reform.

“I probably threw away four of those letters before I got one that said I had to appear or ‘face serious penalties,’ whatever that means,” said Sotomayor, who was forced to appear at a nearby municipal courthouse Monday. “I just got a new job, for Christ’s sake. I can’t afford to be sitting in some dingy courtroom all day. God, what a waste of time.”

“The guy is totally guilty, by the way,” Sotomayor continued. “You can tell just by looking at him.” Continue reading →